The 2026 Interfaith Handicap

horse=race

1. Harmonious Co-existence
Widely fancied among those in a position to gamble with our grandchildren’s future but the form book holds out little hope – 50 to 1

2. Sensible Curbs
Obviously an outsider but worth a small punt if things get bad enough and obvious enough early enough – 20 to 1

3. Long-term uneasy Stand-off
Separately controlled areas under British or Sharia law – 5 to 1

4. Civil War
The red horse. The worst of all options, apart from No. 5 obviously – 2 to 1

5. Eventual Swamping and Subjugation
The bookies’ favourite – Evens

6. Black Swan Event
Nuclear exchange in the Middle-East, global economic collapse, return of the Mahdi, intervention by aliens etc – 5 to 1

7. Islamic Reformation – Withdrawn after a stewards’ inspection revealed it to be only a pantomime horse.

Place your bets now.

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